First, a story about why I bought the one-trick-pony in the first place:

Back when we went cherry-picking, Hubs dutifully made a homemade pitter by banging a nail through a block of wood. I sat outside and pitted about half of the 18 lbs of bounty, but then I started to go insane.

It wasn’t just that it was messy and difficult. Or that my fingers were wrinkled from the wet work. Or that my cuticles were stained from the juice. It was because more than once, I caught lil’ Huck with a cherry properly positioned on the “pitter,” poised to push his little palm right through the point of the nail.

Enough.

I was ready to abandon the project altogether. I considered dividing the remaining cherries into three equal portions and declare to Huck and Hubs that it was their responsibility to consume their fresh allotment before spoilage.

It was that or pie with pits.

Luckily, neighbor Glen arrived just in time from next door with his cherry pitter.

What a difference.

I  wanted to get one, but I couldn’t justify top-quality kitchen drawer real-estate for an item that only has one application.

Neighbor Glen chimed in: you can pit olives with a cherry-pitter, too.

Duh. Why didn’t I think of that before?

His instructions? Go to the Halal market and get their freshly brined, high-quality olives for cheap from the barrel. They’ve probably even been prayed over.

Awesome.

I’m serious.

Ok. The recipe:

Tapenade with Home-Roasted Red Pepper
3 cups olives, pitted (the softer and/or medium-sized kinds are the easiest to pit)
1 red pepper (brush with oil, place directly over gas flame on stove until slightly blackened, turning with tongs; remove from heat and let sit in a bowl covered with plastic wrap until soft, remove peel)
2 tablespoons of capers
a handful of curly parsley
a handful of basil
2ish Tablespoons olive oil
pepper

Pulse till lookin’ good. The freshest damned tapenade you will ever taste. Keeps well in the fridge for a few weeks.